Winter Worries for Older Parents

Our concerns for the elderly become more real with winter. In taking care of our loved ones we worry about maintaining their independence, their rights to make their own decisions and try to balance that with our fears that we are needed more or won’t be there for them when we should be. Inclimate weather adds to those fears both for their physical safety and for our ability to assist them quickly.

Combinations of help are placed together and we attempt to rely on the neighbors, meals on wheels, a service we may hire, their church or many other inventive approaches. Are our fears well founded?

Many of the disabilities confronting an elderly person limit their communication to us or leave us not trusting what they say. They may have forgotten to eat, forgotten to take their medications, confuse night from day or left the stove on or off. If they are confused on that level then they are generally confused on whether they should wear a coat and if it is early in the morning or night. So incidents of standing out waiting for the church van at 12 pm occur. We must be cautious at this point of what is happening for in our zealous approach to protect them we can over protect
their rights and under protect their being.

When should I take additional steps for my loved one even though they may oppose additional assistance?

Some of the signs of additional needs that alert us are as follows:

 Answering questions with agreement
 Never being specific - example: Mom when did you eat? Mom says – there is plenty in the house. What did you have for lunch and repetitively you hear leftovers.
 Weight loss that supports the fact that your parent is not eating
 Cleanliness
 Wearing of the same clothes
 Missing Doctor appointments
 Confusion with names
 Repetition of events

Does this mean that a parent must move. Each situation has to be individually evaluated. Involvement of family is a key element. Whether you can afford to hire help for the home and if the person is requiring more help than can be reasonably afforded. Is my loved one an endangerment to themselves or others?

The first step is to have a physician evaluate the person. This will guide you in your decision making process. You may then hire a geriatric professional to come in and assist with placing together services that are appropriate for the care of your loved one. You may find you need less or more help. Their objections should be considered but you must first consider their care. Though this may be a trying time, it is also an opportunity to give back to those who have given so much to you.